and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize