Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
