K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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