I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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