Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
