How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
