Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
