I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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