dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
