If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Pants 0. Shit 1.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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