Plan B is the new Plan A
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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