I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
