hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
