Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
