It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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