Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
