I skipped work to stalk him.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
