I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
