The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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