Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
