I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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