She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
