9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize