i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
