This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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