I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
