i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
