If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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