i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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