why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
