And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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