I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
