Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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