Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
