I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize