Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
