Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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