She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I think I won the penis lottery.
My balls are so social today.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
