I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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