Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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