Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Are my feet made of real feet?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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