haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
