some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
