i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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