Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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