he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
