I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
