They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
