All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
