Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
