I cannot find my penis.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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