the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My breath smells like gin and sadness
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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