Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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