If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
