Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
